Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Snow days with kids

I have three kids, all of whom are now officially teenagers. I am very fortunate to work from home, so when we have weather-related school closings, the combination of their "advanced" age and my flexible schedule makes me well suited to cope with the schedule change. But it wasn't always that way. When they were younger, I worked at a newspaper, which was flexible in the sense that I could take them with me on assignments (yeah, you try interviewing the troops who just returned from Iraq while your three elementary schoolers run wild around the Armory) and I also worked at Micron, a semiconductor manufacturer that was not in any way flexible. At Micron, I could neither take the kids in or work from home. I just had to take an unplanned personal day, and that was the kind of thing my  supervisor would passive-aggressively hold over my head whenever possible. That job didn't last long, but while it did, I learned to appreciate the great value of flexible jobs and the opportunity to work from home.

So for those of you with children still living at home who are impacted by the vagaries of winter weather, I have put together a few suggestions of things you can do to keep your kids busy while they are stuck at home.


  • Babysitting. Have older kids offer their babysitting services to other families. It is particularly nice if your teenage children are already CPR-certified and have some experience with younger kids (like cousins), but when winter weather threatens, you can start putting the word out to your local friends with smaller kids who you know will be inconvenienced by school closings. You can post on Facebook or email your friends: "I have a 15 year-old, CPR certified, available to babysit at your house or mine in the event of school closure tomorrow."
  • Helping. Prepare a list of chores for the kids, and if you would like more enthusiastic participation, attach dollar amounts to each activity. For example: "Shovel driveway, $20. Clean cat litter box, $5. Alphabetize bookshelves by author, $10. Organize your closet and remove unwanted items for Goodwill, $5." The more mercenary your children, the more stuff you will get done.
  • Baking. You can guide the kids or have them do it themselves. With older children, I can now direct my kids to a recipe and just offer guidance while they do the work. It wasn't always this way, but even younger kids can manage a recipe from a mix, like sugar cookies. You can have them assemble and cut the dough, but you will probably have to help roll it out and put it into and take it out of the oven. Kids can spend a lot of time decorating cookies with either a simple homemade frosting (a stick of butter, a box of powdered sugar, a splash of milk and some food coloring) or frosting from a can.
  • Working. When my son has a snow day, he sometimes helps my husband at work. We have the flexibility to do this since we are both self-employed. My son can carry ladders and climb up in attics. It keeps him busy and he also earns a little money. I also have some simple paperwork and organizational tasks with which the kids can help.
  • Exercising. I don't like to bill this activity as "exercise" to the kids, but I do like to see them doing something active, especially when they are stuck inside all day. Since I have a ton of fitness equipment, I can encourage them to "play" with my resistance bands, mini-treadmill, stability ball and indoor trampoline. We also have some active video games like Just Dance, which they will do for about half an hour at a time.
  • Reading. My kids don't need a lot of encouragement to sink into a book, but it helps to have a well-stocked bookcase, or a Kindle. We have four Kindles in our house and they are all on the same account, so when one of us buys a book, we all have access to it. That means we have a ready supply of books at hand, at any time. If your kids need some guidance about what to read, there are many recommended reading lists online. For older teens, I like the BBC's "The Big Read" of top 100 books, or NPR's list of 100 Best-Ever Teen Novels. The New York Public Library's list of 100 Great Children's books has a good variety of titles for toddler through teen.
  • Playing. When my youngsters were younger, I lived in town and I could usually get out and about within a few hours of the snow ending, but much of my county was rural, which meant schools may be closed for several days. During these long stretches of school-less-ness, my mom-friends and I would make an effort to trade kids for several hours at a time. We arranged play dates in the late morning--on Tuesday, I would take my kids' to Susie's house for three hours while I got some stuff done. On Wednesday, her kids would come to my place, and so it went. Even if I had five kids at my house instead of my normal three, they would all be involved with one another and less in need of my interaction, so I could manage a conference call, or write a few emails while keeping one eye on the kids.
I know from experience that snow days can throw an unexpected monkey wrench into your working life, but these years pass so fast. Before you know it, your former toddlers are applying for colleges and hoping to spend their snow days at their boyfriends' houses (not), so make the best of the little ones while you can.


Sunday, February 16, 2014

Changing partners

We always rotate partners in our dance classes. About once every other month, we run into a couple that is strongly opposed to changing partners, and we hear comments like, "I came here to dance with her/him!" Although we certainly respect everyone's wishes and preferences, I did just want to take a moment to explain a few of the reasons why we change partners in dance classes:

  • You learn far more dancing with a variety of people than you do dancing only with one person. 
  • Dancing is a fun social activity, and when you change partners you get to know all the people in the room, not just the one you came with.
  • When both of you are struggling with a new move, switching partners and working with someone who "gets it" will help you both figure it out faster.
  • Changing partners makes it possible for singles and those whose partners are away or not interested in dancing to participate.
  • We have found that people treat strangers a little differently than their spouses: there is often a stronger layer of politeness and less likelihood of frustration when we continually rotate partners.
Every so often, we come into a situation where everyone at an event is already partnered-off, like a couples-only evening. In those cases, we will sometimes skip the rotation process. We have found that when we keep couples together, the learning process tends to go slower and we hear a greater degree of agitation from the students (along the lines of: "John, you're doing it wrong!").

There are some cases in which we do not rotate partners, for example, any kind of aerial move (in which one of the partners is completely relying on the other for support. High-risk maneuvers are best reserved for the person who has to live with the consequences of possibly dropping their partner.

So what do you do if you feel very strongly that you only want to dance with your husband/wife? All is not lost: you can come to the dances and participate in the pre-dance intro lesson. Simply pull over to the side with your main squeeze, and stay out of the path of rotation. 


If one partner has a medical condition that would make changing partners dangerous--for example, a rotator-cuff injury that requires special adaptations of the moves--then we may be able to have you step aside during the regular 8-week class, but in this situation, you are probably better served by doing private lessons.

If you want a 100 percent guarantee you will never have to change partners, you can always take private lessons. However, at some point, you will probably have to dance at least with the instructor when you or your partner reach a point that you need more than verbal and visual instruction.

As formerly one of the most-shy people on the planet, I do understand that it can seem awkward, in the beginning, to have to be in close contact with unknown humans. But that awkwardness dissipates pretty fast. You are only touching the other person's hand and shoulder, and there is always space between you--or at least there should be. In swing dancing, it's not even as close contact as hugging. Every once in 1000 people, you may run across someone who gets a little too close or makes you feel uncomfortable. In that case, you have the easy out of just sitting out the rest of the dance and not ever dancing with that person again. However, in all the years I have been dancing, only once have I ever stopped in the middle of a dance, and that was just because the guy picked me up three consecutive times in one dance, even after I had told him not to.

As I said earlier, I try to respect everyone's views, but I would invite the rotationally hesitant to consider the spirit of social dancing: growing and improving as a dancer relies on learning from others. Plus, there are so many physical, emotional, social and mental benefits that you can reap from reacting to new people on the dance floor. Last but not least, most guys only have seven dance moves. As a follow, dancing with 30 guys in one night exposes you to 210 moves. Guys get to use their seven moves on 30 women, adding an element of freshness to every dance.

Best of all, after you dance with a few other people and you return to your life-mate, you often feel a surge of gratitude and appreciation for your partner, as in, "Now I remember why you are my favorite dance partner in the entire world! It's like we can read each other's minds!"

So I hope that you will consider partner changing, at least in dance class, as an opportunity instead of a barrier. And if you still don't want to rotate, we would be happy to do private lessons with you!


Monday, February 10, 2014

Fredericksburg Coffee Shops Take II: Keystone Coffee

Keystone Coffee
2206 Princess Anne Street
Keystone Coffee
Fredericksburg, VA 22401
http://www.keystonecoffeeandautospa.com

I have driven past this little coffee shop for the past few years, and have never stopped by until recently, what a loss! It’s a cute little shop right next to the famous Carl’s ice cream, complete with an outdoor seating area and carwash.

You can drop off your vehicle to get it detailed while you enjoy a soup and salad combo or a chocolate-covered-strawberries mocha. The carwash guys will come and tell you when your car is ready.

In my tour of Fredericksburg coffee houses, Keystone wins so far in terms of atmosphere. The vintage décor fits my personal prefrences: framed photo of Elvis, 50’s-style tourism posters for Cuba, and a selection of beautiful antique-car photos. During my visit, the music ranged from Django-style jazz to 60s rock and modern, but less-known, tunes.

Although the inside of Keystone is small, it is cozy, with hardwood floors, two comfy chairs, one leather sofa, a booth and a few tables. It is probably the nicest place you could ever wait for a car wash.

In addition to coffee and tea, Keystone offers smoothies, cream freezes and an assortment of pastries, sandwiches and snacks. Of the coffee shops I have toured in the Burg, Keystone has the largest selection of gluten-free snacks. This selection could only be considered “large” by comparison to the others—so do not expect to go in there and find a dedicated GF kitchen. What you can get is tuna salad on a bed of greens, a bag of nuts or a fruit cup. As with most restaurants, you can also ask for a sandwich without any bread.

The menu is clearly marked with a large V, which they say stands for “vegetarian or vegan,” but they don’t really tell you which. I guess you have to ask for specifics if that is important to you.

The most noticeable downside to this place is that there is no obvious wifi. I have heard that a connection is available if you ask, but I did not verify that during my trip. Another possible negative for people who prefer traditional American food is that the sandwiches come with healthy sides, like grapes. If you like chips, you will have to buy them separately. If not, you will get a reasonably sized portion of food and little guilt.

But of course, I’m all about the coffee. All I can say is that my latte met my expectations. I can’t really wax poetic about this one, but I did feel an instant caffeine surge, a feeling of which I much approve.

I look forward to returning again for a smoothie the next time I’m in town—by the way, I think I need to get my car washed soon.