Picky party planning

My family is a haven for picky eaters. My niece and brother-in-law are lactose intolerant. She and my daughter are vegetarians. My sister and I are gluten-free. My husband is salt-sensitive and my daughter eats almost nothing. Trying to figure out what everyone can eat is sort of like a logic puzzle: Mary has twice as many apples as John, and John has three more apples than Jim, but Troy can't work on Saturdays and Betty Lou is afraid of trains. What is the square root of the number of Suzanne's music collection?

Over the years, I have learned a few things about planning for picky parties and I would like to share these tips with you. (By the way, I do not mean to disparage people with food allergies, sensitivities or preferences by calling them "picky." It's a term of affection, and I use it for myself as well as anyone else--so please don't think I am making light of a serious food condition.)

Picky party planning

• Offer a variety. This is generally true for any party, but especially where you know your guests have food preferences or allergies. I have heard of parties where the whole theme is "bacon," and every dish, including dessert, incorporates salty pork in some way. Although that's fine in certain circumstances (and when your guests know what to expect), in general, it is a good practice to plan a range of flavors, textures and ingredients. Offer something meaty, something vegetabley (I just made that word up) and something fruity.
• Encourage guests to bring a dish to share. Chances are, your guests understand their food preferences better than you do. Encourage your guests to bring something to share with others, especially if they have stringent dietary needs. A vegan, for example, can bring a lovely bean salad that everyone can sample. This not only allows the guest to rest assured they will be able to eat at least one thing at the party, they will also be able to share their vegan cooking prowess with others, and educate people that being vegan does not require eating tree bark exclusively for the rest of your life.
• List ingredients on a card. Here’s a tip I learned from working at a hotel event center: Take a few minutes to print up cards that not only say what the dish is, but also what is in it. You don’t have to list every trace ingredient, but definitely call out the big-ticket food preference/allergy items like meat, dairy, egg, wheat and nuts. For example you can type up a label that reads, "Baked Stuffed Shells: Wheat pasta, ricotta and mozzarella cheese, egg, tomato, salt, pepper, ground red pepper." Our hotel used to print these up on card stock in a big, flowy font. Then we would fold them like place cards and set them in front of the dish. The cards can also help you arrange your buffet before guests arrive: if you set out the cards first, you know that you have a place for everything and you can see if you forgot to set out the cranberry sauce because there will be a card without a corresponding dish.
• Keep food simple and separate. Although glossy food magazines and TV shows may make us feel like we need to spend hours and lots of money making complicated dishes, simple foods are less expensive and easier to prepare. Fresh foods taste better.  For example, our appetizers are usually cheese and crackers, grapes and apple slices, tangerine sections, carrots and celery with dip, and other simple items. For a main course, we offer something like a ham or a turkey and simple side dishes.

If you have tips for planning parties for picky people, I’d love to hear them. Please share in the comments!