The Workshop Weekend: Learning to be a New Dancer Again

I recently attended the DC Bachata Congress (DCBX), in Washington, DC. This is a link to their promo video. Although I am an experienced swing dancer, and a pretty comfortable Salsa dancer, I'm still really new to Bachata. It is difficult for me to take consistent lessons because I live about an hour away from all the places where that might happen, and as a dance and fitness teacher myself, I am usually teaching at the same time group lessons are happening.

When I heard about this Bachata Congress, I thought it would be a great opportunity for me to take a whole lot of classes all at once, and to get some intensive exposure to the dance. I didn't seriously consider going until the last minute: I registered on Sunday, and the event started Thursday. As a result, I didn't have time to find subs to teach my classes, which meant I would be seriously burning the candle at both ends during the weekend (as in, go to bed at 2am, teach 8:15am Spin Class). But I knew that going in.

Alien Ramirez and Martin Gonzalez,
World Bachata Champions,
taught the two best classes (for me) at DCBX

Attending DCBX also meant not attending the International Lindy Hop Championships (ILHC), an event I have faithfully supported for several years, because they were both happening during the same weekend, just a few miles apart. And I just couldn't manage both. I know a lot of people at ILHC, the style of dance and the faces are very familiar. It is actually a lot like going to a big family reunion where everyone wears vintage clothes and has great hair.

DCBX offered many of the same things you expect from any dance workshop weekend. There were so many classes and so many amazing teachers. All the other dancers were friendly. The music was great. Performances were inspiring. I discovered new levels of foot soreness and muscle fatigue.

For me, there were many things about this event that were different and that helped me grow in ways I did not expect. For one, my family is of latin descent, but I grew up so far away from that influence that it's like a distant shadow of a memory. To be immersed in the music and culture, and hear people speaking Spanish around me all the time was like waking up some kind of dormant collective memory.

Aside from all the great dance information, tips, and advice I got from the instructors, and all the practice time, perhaps one of the most useful benefits of the workshop weekend was remembering what it's like to be a newer dancer. I am so comfortable with swing and Lindy Hop that I forget how overwhelming it is for new learners to try to work on feet, and arms, and rhythm, and body positioning, and posture, and following/leading, all at the same time.

Sunday mornings are typically the most sparsely attended of any workshop weekend, since Saturday is usually the big party night, and everyone wants to sleep in on Sunday. So I had a small class at 11am with a great teacher, who gave me continuous, rapid-fire feedback: Make your steps closer, lift from the chest, keep your chin parallel to the floor, keep your elbows more away from the ribs, soften the elbows, make the hip movement softer, move the foot through toe-ball-heel, keep your chest squared off to your partner at all times. All this advice came in about a one-minute rotation cycle. I'm not sure how much I can internalize, but I did remember it all well enough to write it down.

There were also the social dance parties. With swing and Lindy Hop, or even with Salsa, it has been a long time since someone tried to lead something that left me completely confused. Bachata left me puzzled often because the body movements are so different. The poor guys would try to lead a move, and I would drop the ball. They'd try again, and I'd drop it again. They would finally move on and do something else. They were all very nice about it, but I quickly came to a point where I found it easier just to tell people at the start of a dance that I was a new learner. It kept them from throwing their A-game at me, and sort of managed their expectations from the beginning. 

However, I did have one funny experience with that. I mentioned to one guy that I was new, and he said, "I know. I've been watching you." Thanks, dude. Didn't realize it was screamingly obvious. However, he did still ask me to dance, so hopefully it wasn't that horribly bad. 

My take-aways from the whole weekend were that it is always good to learn new things. It is always beneficial to build new neural pathways. Expanding your dance horizons can only help you grow as a dancer. And also, as a person. I have reconnected with my empathy for people who are learning new dance concepts for the first time. So, if you've ever thought about taking a dance class, but are worried that you'll be the one slow person in class, or that you just won't get it, you should definitely take a class with me. Because I have been that person very recently and I know exactly how it feels. And I've got you! 

To sign up for swing dance lessons (and we are also teaching beginner Salsa) in Fredericksburg, go to http://gottaswing.com/fredericksburg-va/. For more general information about what's going on at our dance studio, check out our FaceBook page at https://www.facebook.com/LindyintheBurg/. You can also take a look at our studio website, https://www.dancefxbg.com.

A Few Dance Tips for Follows

A while back, I blogged about dance tips for leads, and promised that I would follow up with dance tips for follows.

1. Let the leads lead. This isn't a gender thing. It's totally based on the role you choose in a particular dance. Only one person can lead per dance, and when you decide to be a follow in that one dance, your job is, well, to follow. If you really want to lead, then I encourage you to switch roles and learn the lead's part. It's fun, it's more work than you might think, and it might even help you become a better follow in the end. 
2. Ask people to dance, but don't be offended by no's. A guy once told me that it's easier to ask a woman to marry you than to ask her to dance. A bit of hyperbole, perhaps, but it is intimidating for a new dancer to approach unfamiliar and gorgeous women such as yourself. When you ask the guy, you spare then the effort on that round, which generally makes it less intimidating to ask you next time. However, sometimes people turn you down. Sometimes, they give you gracious reasons like, "I need a break," or "This song is too fast/slow/old/new for me." Other times, they just turn you down flat. My official advice in the context of this blog is to not take it personally, and don't hold it against them. They probably just sprained their toe or broke up with a girl who looks exactly like you. In real life though, what I have typically done in a case like that is assume that the person thinks I can't dance, and go find a really good dancer, then come back and show off right in front of them. Because I'm small-minded like that. And I've also been known to remember that person who wouldn't dance with me on August 10, 1955, and would subsequently not want to dance with them ever again. Don't be like me. Just assume the person who turned you down can't handle your radiant beauty at the moment and needs a few seconds to adjust. They are, after all, only human.
3. Don't apologize. This is something I do all. the. time. and I wish I would stop. When things go wrong in a dance, I still apologize, even though I say in every class, and I said in item #1 above, the lead is the lead. Your job is to follow the directions given. If the directions are vague, confusing, conflicting, or come too late, you just can't do it. It's not your fault. It's not even really the lead's fault--they are figuring it all out, too. So just roll with it. Don't apologize. Own it and on rolling. 
4. Develop your frame, but stay relaxed. Oh, the big conundrum! This is like the holy grail of all forms of social dance. In order to dance with a partner (either as a lead or a follow), we have to have dance frame, or energy, across our core and upper bodies. Without the frame, leads can't effectively send information and follows can't act on it. It's like dancing with a drunk toddler. But if we get too much frame, then we're like C-3PO from Star Wars. In case you aren't as much of a nerd as I am, I included a photo. 

   

   Droids would have a little too
   much dance frame.

   The trick is finding the happy medium. Energy when we need it, relaxation when we don't. The only way you can find that medium is by actually dancing and having helpful leads who will give you feedback. Sometimes it's hard to hear, but it helps. Early on, a lead I really liked (and still do!) told me, "You know, it's really hard to lead a Whip, or pretty much anything, if you don't have frame." Point taken. I worked on framing up. Then I went too far. I got to a point where I was more like Goldenrod in the photo on the right. I went to workshops, and apparently guys felt their poor little arms being ripped out of the sockets. So sad. They would ask me to relax, loosen up, etc. And apparently I finally found the sweet spot, because just this week at the same dance, I had two (TWO) people tell me I was the only woman at that venue they could dance with and not have to worry about getting their arms ripped off. That's really more like Chewbacca's thing, but I was pretty happy to hear the feedback. I mentally patted myself on the back, and I felt like I could happily retire my dance shoes at that moment. But I won't, because I still have so much more to figure out. Like freestyling. And what to do when leads go on a footwork tangent. But these are topics for another day!

Chewbacca might have good rhythm,
but he really could rip your arms off.

Last tip: take lessons. We have new classes starting frequently. Check out http://www.gottaswing.com/fredericksburg-va/, and if you aren't in Fredericksburg, Gottaswing has classes all over the DMV area. And if you aren't there, use Google and find some classes near you! And then get out and find some social dances, and just dance as much as you can.

If you have more helpful tips for follows, you can post them as comments.

Top Five Reasons Why People Don't Take Dance Lessons. And Why You Should

It's almost time for our dance lessons to start again, which means I have been trying to convince people to sign up for them. Which, in turn, means that I have been hearing all the top reasons why people turn me down. No judgement, now. Maybe dancing just isn't your thing, and that's totally fine. But if dancing is your thing, but you think there's a roadblock, I want to remove that block for you.

So here are some of the most common reasons people tell me they can't dance, followed by my responses to them. If any of these are your reasons, I hope my responses convince you that you should be dancing!

If you really have two left feet,
you have more serious problems
than lack of dancing skills

1. I have two left feet. Really? Where do you buy your shoes? I think you actually have a right and a left. You just don't actually know which one is which yet. And that's ok, because as I know from teaching exercise classes, I frequently do not know which is my left or right, either. So I often say, use the foot on the water-fountain side of the room. Muscle memory is a huge part of the process. It's just like tying your shoes. The first time you do it, you have to think about the little rabbit going over the log and into the hole, but after you do it 35 times, you never have to think about it again. 
2. I have no rhythm. Rhythm is a learned skill. It certainly comes easier for some people than others. Those that played an instrument have an advantage. But even if you can't find a beat with both hands, we have drills to help with that. Another strategy that helps anyone is just listening to music and trying isolate the sound of the drum within the song. Even if you aren't 100% successful at the beginning, your ears are learning.

   

   Musicians on a beach in Havana

3. I don't have a partner. Don't tell the married people I said this, but you are almost better off NOT having a partner when you start dancing. You will meet a lot of new friends. You will have no guilt about dancing with everyone. No one will be jealous if you start chatting with your new friends after class. You will be able to rotate freely among the other dancers and ask as many questions of them as you want. We change partners often in class for many reasons. It helps everyone learn, and it also helps defuse tension when maybe married couples aren't entirely agreeing on how a move should be done. So don't worry about showing up solo. You'll fit right in. (That is how I started, too).
• The corollary of this issue is 3A: I do have a partner, and I love him/her so much, I don't want to share/rotate. That's OK too. You can come to a Saturday dance and take a beginner lesson. We'll let you step out of the rotation. However, we have found through our extensive experience that our ongoing weekly lessons work best when all the couples rotate. SO, if you can't bear to be away from your sweetie, we offer two options. Option 1) Arrange a private lesson for just the two of you. I charge $60/hour, and I pro-rate for any segment of the hour. Option 2) You can put together a whole group of your attached friends, and we'll set up a special, non-rotating, semi-private lesson at your location or ours. Oooh, l'amour 💕💕
4. I am too old. No one is ever too old to dance. Check out our heartthrob, the lovely Jean Veloz, at 93. Sure, learning a new skill at an older age may take you a little longer than it did in your youth, but it also helps protect your brain's health.
5. I have no coordination. Um, No coordination? Really? Can you walk? Run? Bike? Swim? All these things require a lot of coordinated movement. It's just that you mastered those skills long ago. The only thing that stands between you and dancing is learning to dance is time and repetition, so I hope to see you out there soon on the dance floor and in our classes!

To register for our dance classes, you can sign up online at http://www.gottaswing.com/fredericksburg-va/. If you have any questions or if you'd .like to set up a private or personal group lesson, please email me at valerie.cox.webber@gmail.com.

How to Get Rid of Muffin Top

You know muffin top, that fluffy bit of tummy that hangs over the top of your waistband. The first time someone asked me how to get rid of it, I was a little to quick on the draw with my response. This was before I worked in the fitness industry. I was going for humor, so I said, "Buy bigger pants." She gave me an evil glare.

These days, I realize that such a question is a great teaching opportunity, and there really is a multi-part response. But first, if you need to get rid of your muffin-top tomorrow, the easiest answer really is in the clothing. It doesn't matter how little body fat one has, if the elastic around the middle is too tight, it's going to create a bulge somewhere. So it really wouldn't hurt to buy some leggings with a more forgiving waist.

That response won't do anything for your

Vintage Slimming Belt

hip-waist ratio, or body-fat percentage, so let's tackle that. First off, hopefully we've all gotten the word that spot reduction doesn't really work. So core exercises like crunches and planks are great for building core strength and stability, but they cannot, all by themselves, get rid of your muffin top.

I am afraid, my friends, that what is required is a solid plan of cardiovascular exercise and solid meal planning. The great part about this is that there is no one right answer as to what specific kind of cardio you have to do. I myself experienced great weight loss results after my first daughter was born from just walking and pushing her in the stroller. As my fitness level improved, and as she was able to take longer naps, I started doing exercise videos at home. Later, when she was able to go to kids' care at the gym, I started running on the treadmill, and that was the beginning of my foray into the fitness world.

If walking, workout videos or running aren't for you, maybe you might like dancing, basketball, soccer, swimming, or any other of a million types of human movement. There's no wrong answer. Just find something that causes you to break a sweat, and that you can tolerate well enough to do fairly consistently for 30-60 minutes most days of the week.

Next up is the food aspect. People have written whole books about food and diet plans. Who am I, but a simple personal trainer and a mother of three who has successfully lost and kept from regaining a decent chunk of weight. I find that the simpler I keep my guidelines, the more likely I am to follow them. Here are a few simple food ideas. (Serious idea props go out to my fitspiration, Jonathan Ross, who wrote the book, "Abs Revealed." you should check it out.)

• Whenever you eat, eat a vegetable. Or at least a fruit. For example, sauté some spinach and onions along with your egg in the morning. Slice a banana into your oatmeal. As pictured below, chop up some spinach, tomatoes and strawberries along with a boiled egg for a simple lunch salad.
• Avoid added refined sweeteners. Let's not make this complicated. I mean things that involved, at some point in the assembly process, adding scoops or cups of sweetness. We could spend a lot of time debating the relative virtues of white sugar, brown sugar, maple syrup, honey, Truvia, Splenda, and a thousand other kinds of sweeteners. Let's not. As a general rule, try to get your sweet fix from things that are naturally sweet without human help, like berries, bananas, and oranges. You get the picture. If you, like many of the people in my extended family, like to put spoonfuls of sugar on your breakfast cereal, it's going to take some time to retrain your taste buds. Be patient.

Every time you eat, eat the vegetables.

• Don't eat anything that came out of a deep fat fryer.
• Don't drink calories. Stick with water, unsweet tea, black coffee (with maybe a little milk). Avoid sodas. Even the diet sodas. I hate to bring this up, but beer, wine and liquor also include the emptiest of all calories, alcohol. The relaxation value of a nightly glass of Malbec may be worth it to you you, but 3-4 glasses is probably not helping anything, health-wise.
• Make your own food when possible. It's not always feasible, but it saves both calories and money.

Realize the bullets above are goals, and you won't always meet them. Understand that there will be days when you'll drink all the beer and eat all the cheesecake. Don't let that one day ruin your overall plan. The next morning, put on your stretchy pants, forgive yourself, and get right back on track.

And also, if you'd like more a more detailed and specific workout plan made just for you, contact a personal trainer. Like me. I work with people both in-person and online.

Now go have an awesome day and crush those goals!

Meal-Prep Tips for Travel

I am currently chilling in my hotel room, watching "Thor, The Dark World," and mentally preparing for a four-day athletic conference that starts at 8am. I am also thanking myself for taking the time before I left to prepare meals for myself for the next four days.

This is not my first rodeo. I have been to several fitness trainings, certifications and conferences before. I know that at the end of each day, I will be so tired that the idea of even walking a few hundred yards to a restaurant and waiting for food will be exhausting. Let alone trying to find a healthy food selection amid the french fries, burgers and pizzas. It's really tough at a fitness conference, where we spend all our time talking about helping our clients make healthy lifestyle choices, and then we go out and eat a whole cow and drink 48 beers.

So, I jest. I don't drink beer.

Just in case some other people out there struggle with both the calories and the money involved in eating while on business travel, I thought I'd share some thoughts.

First, a lot depends on how you travel. I happened to be traveling by car, so I had the opportunity to pack a cooler. I left for this conference on Wednesday. On Monday, I went grocery shopping and bought eight of the small square ziploc containers you see in the photo. I bought a family pack of chicken breasts, a large sweet potato, a vidalia onion, a white potato, a red pepper, quinoa, eggs, cherry tomatoes, hummus and some cheeses.

On Monday, I cooked the quinoa and put it in the bottom of the Ziploc containers, and froze it. I boiled six of the eggs and put them back in their original container.
Tuesday, I cooked the whole family pack of chicken. We ate some for dinner, and I cut up the rest, cooled it in the fridge, and then distributed the cold chicken on top of the previously frozen quinoa.

On Tuesday, I also cut up and roasted my vegetables (with olive oil, pepper, and garlic salt). I portioned those out into two Ziploc containers. I meant to freeze them on top of the chicken, but I ended up falling asleep before I completed that step!

I also put some bagged frozen strawberries in one of the Ziplocs.

Wednesday morning, I packed all the pre-made meals up, along with the hummus, cheeses, cherry tomatoes, spinach and fresh fruits, in my cooler with some ice, and it lasted all day. I even had to move my daughter into her new apartment on my way to the conference, and everything stayed fresh, plus I had snacks for when we got hungry on the road.

Air travel
It's a little more complicated when traveling by air, but I still take my foods. In an ideal world, I like to carry enough calories on the plane with me to get through 24 hours, so that no matter what happens, I won't starve or subject anyone else to "hangry" me.

I stock some things in my carry on and some in my checked bag.

In the carry-on, I usually take my insulated bag with some cut-up vegetables, some kind of a dip (I always have to check the TSA rules for size) but I like small containers of peanut butter or hummus. I usually take some kind of dried fruits and nuts, cheese, and some variety of crackers. If I am super-organized, I'll make myself a real lunch, like a nice salad, wrap or sandwich. I am gluten-free, so I can't eat a standard airport sandwich.

In the packed bag, I usually stow some oatmeal packets, power bars, rice cakes, probably more peanut butter, nuts and dried fruits, and possibly a can or two of tuna. I don't eat the tuna on the plane because it stinks.

At the hotel
When I have the option to choose my hotel, I really like to find a place that has both a refrigerator and a microwave, but I'm pretty creative even without one. I have a little one-serving metal travel tea kettle that I use to heat up water, which I can use to make my oatmeal in the morning, and that hot water can heat up a surprising amount of other things, too. Like my cold quinoa and chicken, in this hotel that has a fridge, but only a shared microwave on the third floor.

As to why I go to all this trouble--I spent about $80 on my food for the whole trip. That includes a $20 box of wine and all my snacks. Since I am working at the conference, I will also get fed a couple of times. If I were eating out every meal here, I would easily spend $80 in a day. It's an expensive area. Not only am I saving a lot of money, I have total control over my food. I know exactly what went into it, how it was made, and the freshness of all the ingredients.

Also, since I have a pretty serious gluten sensitivity, I don't have to worry about getting some stray wheat in my food and ending up with intense abdominal pain for the whole weekend. All in all, it's quite worth it. But beyond all that, I love the creative challenge of trying to figure out how to beat "the system."

Whatever you choose to do for food, I wish you happy travels!

A Little Advice for Dance Leads

I've been teaching social dance for about six years now. Over the years, I've given a lot of dance advice to both leads and follows. This post is specifically for leads, but I'll do another one for follows later.

I often say that the ladies don't care how many moves you have. We really don't. I watch guys dancing sometimes, and I can tell they are trying to "impress" a follow who is either very attractive or a very good dancer (or both!) by throwing their whole repertoire of moves at her. But here's the thing: Follows aren't just dancers. We're people. So we don't just love the moves, we like the conversation. And there are two parts to this. One, the dance itself is a conversation. Two, sometimes, we like actual conversation. As in, talking to other people.

I'll start with the second part of that statement. For leads who are really brand new beginners, it can be challenging to talk and dance at the same time. We get that. It's easy to lose the beat once you let your focus go, and that's ok. But once you get sort of comfortable and are able to do a basic step and talk at the same time, it is really nice if you can talk to your follow while dancing. "Where are you from? Do you come here often?" Are some nice, simple and general conversation starters. If you like the person, you can say nice things like, "Wow, you are a really good dancer," or "You have such a great smile!" But you know, keep an eye out for cues that you might be making her uncomfortable and be ready to shift to benign topics of conversation like traffic and weather.

Ok, on to the second part of the conversation. The dance itself is a conversation between two people, and between the music and the dancers. The dancers don't even have to speak a word of the same verbal language to be able to communicate ideas and emotions through dance. Meanwhile, the song is communicating things through rhythms, words, pauses, breaks and syncopations that you can choose to listen to or ignore. So as a follow, I like it when my lead is actually working with me like an instrument in expressing a conversational idea suggested by the music through the dance. It's like we're collaborating together to create a poem. We're conversing together to make something happen, with purpose, and that's awesome.

Where this conversation all goes wrong is when leads begin to throw all their moves at the follow without a discernible rhyme or reason. Think about it this way: a poet uses words within a structure to convey meaning to an audience. Without that structure or meaning, you might as well be reading words off a GRE prep-course vocabulary list. It's meaningless and possibly overwhelming. The dance equivalent is a lead who just throws out one move after another after another, of increasing complexity, without any particular intention or connection to the music, the mood, or the follow. As the follow, what is usually happening on my end is that my hair is getting totally messed up and after 30 seconds or so, it has all come out of its pins and hairspray and I can't even see anymore. I'm getting really dizzy because this generally involves me spinning about 1,000 times. Often, there are blinding spotlights or strobe lights going on, so it's quite disorienting, and I have a hard time finding my partner as I come out of turns. Sometimes a wardrobe malfunction occurs (like a broken zipper or strap), which can be catastrophic. As a general rule, any dance that requires an immediate visit to the ladies room to adjust my clothing/hair/makeup is not a dance I will want to repeat. And by the way, guys, the girls talk in the powder room. If I'm in there re-pinning my hair, and asking for a safety pin to fix my dress, the other 10 girls in the restroom are going to know why and who.

Everyone is different, and I can't speak for all the follows out there. Also, it's important to remember that performances are one thing. Social dancing is quite another. But one of the instructors I like the best frequently offers this simple advice: "Guys, the less you do, the better it is for her." It's great advice. Not to be boring, not at all. But to make sure that whatever you do has a reason within the conversation. Just like a poet would never randomly throw out some big words because he thought they made him sound smart--whatever moves you do should make sense, with the follow, with the music, with the mood. Or in other words, keep it simple.

A Haiku For Confusing Dancers
Juxtapose
Frotnight Oblong Hence
Otherworldly

Big words. But they make no sense. Likewise, you may have lots of $500 moves*, but you don't need to throw them all into one 3-minute dance. Maybe use one per song. Focus on a great basic. Make your partner feel secure. Talk to the lady, if possible. If not, smile and nod encouragingly. Listen to the music, feel the music, and communicate what you hear in the music to her.

* A $500 move is what I call a the one move you retain from a weekend dance conference. You pay $500 for the conference. You go to workshops and dances all weekend. You get informational overload. You forget 98% of what you learned, but you do remember that one really cool move taught by international dancing superstar so-and-so. That one move you retained, therefore, cost you $500. These moves are generally fairly flashy and nice in a performance or choreography, or with your regular partner who knows what to expect, but quite difficult to lead successfully in a social dancing situation with a stranger.

An Ode to Treadmill Running

This is not actually an ode, it’s more of a lament: Lamentations on Treadmill Running.

I can’t think of anything more boring, fitness-wise, than running on a treadmill.

At least if you are on a stationary bike, you’re stable enough to read a magazine.

Back in grad school, I could read my homework while stepping on the elliptical. But the treadmill is just too bouncy.

If you happen to be so blessed as to actually enjoy running for the sake of running, then you would most likely prefer to be outside, where you have the diversion of passing cars, squirrels, other humans, trees, and possibly even the movement of light on water (my very favorite thing to see).

But on a treadmill indoors, well, you have none of these things.

I often feel like a hamster on a freaking wheel while on the treadmill, but I still do it. Partly because of heat, insects, rain, and pollen, but mostly because I am still recovering from a back injury (I had two bulging lumbar disks, one high, one low, one left, one right) that occurred about a year and a half ago, and the treadmill creates less impact on feet, knees, hips and back than any real-world surface. It’s a nice transition from nothing and on my way to building up to dirt, track or gravel. I need to start somewhere.  

I’ve been doing all the other kinds of cardio I can think of, just not running. The omission of this cardio category is starting to bother me. I have the suspicion that I am letting fear control me, so I want to get over that hurdle and move forward. 

There are some tricks that I use to make treadmills more bearable, and some tricks that gyms can use to make them more usable. I will start with the gyms. So like, if you are gym shopping, or opening your own gym, these are things to think about.

What gyms can do to make it better

As a gym user, none of these things are in your control, but when you are setting up a home gym or choosing a gym, it’s something to think about. Alternately, if you are a Negative Nancy, I have now armed you with a whole list of complaints for your gym. You’re welcome.

Gyms can arrange the treadmills for maximal entertainment value. 

I do not mean putting the treadmills in front of a big wall of TVs. Who cares. The last thing in the world I want to do is watch more HGTV or FOX News. I want to be able to watch people while I work out. I mean, it would be nice if we could manage to bring in some Chippendale’s dancers to do their daily strength training workout, but really any normal people doing normal things are fine.  

The best setup I’ve seen is cardio equipment on a second-floor deck overlooking a first-floor weight room. You could feel like the hawk-eye observer watching people down below (Not at all creepy). Another great setup is cardio overlooking the outdoor pool. We stayed in a hotel in Las Vegas one time with this setup and a group of badly behaved Kardashian wannabes showed up during my workout for three consecutive days. I didn’t want to leave when my time was up.

Conversely, it is the worst when gyms put a treadmill right in front of a wall. You are already doing the most boring fitness thing imaginable. Now let’s put you in front of a plain white wall while you do it. Or maybe a crooked motivational poster that says something about flying with eagles. Hmm, I’m on a treadmill. At least give me a poster of the African savannah so I can pretend I’m a lion chasing zebras or something.

Gyms can have great music. 

Unfortunately, “great music” is really going to vary depending on who you talk to, so what I mean by this is music that I personally like. And that is going to be music you hate if you aren’t into 80’s pop and breakup songs. (Maybe plan your own playlists for treadmill runs).

Gyms can invest in treadmills that quickly adjust speeds. 

Some treadmills have quick-set buttons that allow you to bump up from, say 4mph to 6, 7 or 8mph by touching a single button. The one I used today required bumping up a tenth of a mile-per-hour at a time, which is ok if you are just going to warm up and then hit a steady pace for the freaking run, but not so great if you want to do sprints. Because if you are going to sprint for 30 seconds at your all-out pace, the last thing in the world you want to do is take an extra 15 seconds trying to bump down a tenth of a mile at a time. You could literally die in the process. I realize I could step on the side rails while I dial it down. But that feels like quitting.

Things that I personally do to make my treadmill experience less hideous:

I bring my music. 

I really need a compelling playlist. I love Spotify for this reason. There are so many running playlists available. It’s fun finding new things. There are two challenges here. One is that if you don’t have access to Wifi where you will be treadmilling, you will need to download your playlist, which means you will need to pay for Spotify, and that is a bummer because we all love free stuff. But maybe you have Wifi in your gym. Yay for you! 

The next challenge for me (probably not you) is that I still don’t really have Bluetooth headphones—well, I do technically own them, but they are almost never charged, so I am still using corded headphones. And once I get going in my run, there is an 85% chance I will catch a cord in one of my hands and yank it out of my ear, probably sending it flying into the person next to me.

I do Sprints! Just like in spin class, sprints interrupt the hellish monotony of the treadmill workout. I’ll do about six minutes at a good 5k pace, then back off, walk for a minute, do another six minutes at a 5k pace, back off, walk, and then do some flat out sprints for a while. For me, sprints are actually really fun. I wish I could do more of them without wanting to vomit.

I climb fake hills! Just like the sprints, the hills break up the monotony. After I get really tired/nauseated from the sprints, I am typically too tired to come back up to my 5k pace for a while, so I pick up the treadmill incline and do a slower-speed uphill walk or jog. I am still recovering from the injury, so I have nothing to prove, just happy to be moving at all.

Big Finish! It’s a thing I do to entertain myself, that I like to finish strong. So I have it in my head that I am always going to sprint across the imaginary finish line (let’s say I have chosen to run 5k that day). So maybe I have like a half mile left. For some moronic reason, I forget how long a half mile really is, and I think I can run flat out for a whole half mile. LOLS. So I run like 0.2 miles and nearly die, and then I have to spend the next 0.1 mile clicking down the speed on the ridiculously slow torture controller on my gym’s treadmill. By then I’m down to like, 0.2 miles remaining. And by the time I’m not gasping for breath anymore, I have about 0.1 mile left and I realize that I have just enough time to actually sprint across the finish line, so I click it all the way back up again, and about the time the treadmill almost gets to a decent running pace (but not my sprint pace), the little computer brain inside the treadmill recognizes the fact that I have completed my goal distance and decides to shut me down. Game over.  Anticlimactic end. But oh well, like I said, I have nothing to prove, and any kind of moving is better than no moving.

As I reach the end of this post, as at the end of this day, I really am just thankful for the health that I have, for the fitness level that I have, and for the ability to keep on moving every day. Even though life presents its challenges, I always appreciate the opportunity to keep on growing!