Changing partners

We always rotate partners in our dance classes. About once every other month, we run into a couple that is strongly opposed to changing partners, and we hear comments like, "I came here to dance with her/him!" Although we certainly respect everyone's wishes and preferences, I did just want to take a moment to explain a few of the reasons why we change partners in dance classes:

• You learn far more dancing with a variety of people than you do dancing only with one person. 
• Dancing is a fun social activity, and when you change partners you get to know all the people in the room, not just the one you came with.
• When both of you are struggling with a new move, switching partners and working with someone who "gets it" will help you both figure it out faster.
• Changing partners makes it possible for singles and those whose partners are away or not interested in dancing to participate.
• We have found that people treat strangers a little differently than their spouses: there is often a stronger layer of politeness and less likelihood of frustration when we continually rotate partners.

Every so often, we come into a situation where everyone at an event is already partnered-off, like a couples-only evening. In those cases, we will sometimes skip the rotation process. We have found that when we keep couples together, the learning process tends to go slower and we hear a greater degree of agitation from the students (along the lines of: "John, you're doing it wrong!").

There are some cases in which we do not rotate partners, for example, any kind of aerial move (in which one of the partners is completely relying on the other for support. High-risk maneuvers are best reserved for the person who has to live with the consequences of possibly dropping their partner.

So what do you do if you feel very strongly that you only want to dance with your husband/wife? All is not lost: you can come to the dances and participate in the pre-dance intro lesson. Simply pull over to the side with your main squeeze, and stay out of the path of rotation. 

If one partner has a medical condition that would make changing partners dangerous--for example, a rotator-cuff injury that requires special adaptations of the moves--then we may be able to have you step aside during the regular 8-week class, but in this situation, you are probably better served by doing private lessons.

If you want a 100 percent guarantee you will never have to change partners, you can always take private lessons. However, at some point, you will probably have to dance at least with the instructor when you or your partner reach a point that you need more than verbal and visual instruction.

As formerly one of the most-shy people on the planet, I do understand that it can seem awkward, in the beginning, to have to be in close contact with unknown humans. But that awkwardness dissipates pretty fast. You are only touching the other person's hand and shoulder, and there is always space between you--or at least there should be. In swing dancing, it's not even as close contact as hugging. Every once in 1000 people, you may run across someone who gets a little too close or makes you feel uncomfortable. In that case, you have the easy out of just sitting out the rest of the dance and not ever dancing with that person again. However, in all the years I have been dancing, only once have I ever stopped in the middle of a dance, and that was just because the guy picked me up three consecutive times in one dance, even after I had told him not to.

As I said earlier, I try to respect everyone's views, but I would invite the rotationally hesitant to consider the spirit of social dancing: growing and improving as a dancer relies on learning from others. Plus, there are so many physical, emotional, social and mental benefits that you can reap from reacting to new people on the dance floor. Last but not least, most guys only have seven dance moves. As a follow, dancing with 30 guys in one night exposes you to 210 moves. Guys get to use their seven moves on 30 women, adding an element of freshness to every dance.

Best of all, after you dance with a few other people and you return to your life-mate, you often feel a surge of gratitude and appreciation for your partner, as in, "Now I remember why you are my favorite dance partner in the entire world! It's like we can read each other's minds!"

So I hope that you will consider partner changing, at least in dance class, as an opportunity instead of a barrier. And if you still don't want to rotate, we would be happy to do private lessons with you!